*NERDY MAMA!
Dreams are a deception of the heart. My name is Reika, but the name on my birth certificate is Keisha. I prefer to be called Reika or whatever nickname you can make. It's all fine. There's not much to be said about me, but this blog is about how your heart deceives you in dreams. All the pain it’s gone through has a thirst for revenge and it attacks you. It's why we all have to know what it is and why not to listen to it. -Kakurayami Reika
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I'm starting a blog on my dreams and what they mean. This one hit me hard. -_-

From my college, some girl wrote a book about my blog and how crappy of a person I am. She wrote everything from how I talk to who I talk to and all of it was... I don't know. If I remember correctly, she wrote, "As you can see, this person always goes over to people who reads books, sits in a group of people and never says anything and only laughs, and walks around..." I can't remember the rest. Then she went on to critique my blog (darkfire-382) and saw that I write terribly in it and blab on and on. In the dream I was so sad and everyone in the college didn't like me and just laughed at me after that.

When it became too much, I woke up.

I was sad and ready to cry, but then I noticed something:

If it was real, that bitch would've got beat. Excuse my blackness, but it's true. I do have insecurities, but that gives no one the right to write a book like that and put a long chapter about me in the beginning. Fuck you, fuck your life, fuck that chair you're sitting on. I believe it was the insecurities in my head trying to get a word in again. I haven't been listening to it lately so maybe that's it.

I'm very worried that that part of me has a name: Imani. That's the name of the girl who wrote that stuff about me and they said she went to my college. I'm not going to be worried though. There's Keisha (the nice side of me with insecurities), Imani (the insecurities that want to bring me so far down), and Reika (who I am; the part of me that never gives a fuck about what anyone else thinks or wants). It's going to take time, but I have to get rid of Keisha and Imani. There's no other way. To anyone reading this that doesn't know me and thinks I'm a psychopath... Okay. You're probably correct. I am insane. So what? But remember that everyone has different sides to them. You're not just all one thing. Everyone has the paranoia voices, the "you're not good enough" voices, the "fuck you I. AM. ME." voices.

I would've made this post longer or clearer or both, but I have to get ready to leave and hang out with my friend and her cousin today. Maybe I'll edit this when I get back. Not all of my posts will be dark and reflections of my subconscious. Some will be straight up silly because that's how my dreams work. I've had crazy, but hilarious drug trip dreams that run on and on. Now I'll have somewhere to document them all.

Reason for choosing this name:

Dreams are a Deception of the Heart/Deception of the Heart

Dreams show what you are really thinking. It tells you what's going on deep down inside you. You may not know it because you're ignoring it, but it IS there. When you wake up, depending on the dream, you may have a bad view of yourself and think that whatever happened is true and makes you have this pain in your soul. You're deceived in a way because you can always get stronger. You don't have to listen to that side of you that wants to bring you down. Sometimes dreams are so confusing that your dream self does not think in the same way you would, but when you wake up, you make that way of thinking your own when its' not. You were deceived by the pains of the past that live in your heart.